The First Cubs Game of the Season

it isn't entirely all my fault, but I'm going to my first Cubs game of the season in a few hours.  I did not come prepared.  I left my khaki shorts and polo shirt at home (where it will forever be popped) and I've never owned flip flops.  I will stick out in Wrigleyville today, but when do I not stick out there?  So much hair and hair and no khaki and, bro, I look terrible in hats unless I am wearing them ironically and when you're in the city looking ironic you don't ironically fit in in Wrigleyville.

Thoughts on recent events:  was I not right about Marmol?

And now for a few words after the game: