Christmas Day

11:42 am

Christmas has arrived.  In a twist--in an effort to do something different with this blog, I'll be adding to this post in real time.  I will publish it with edits as things either happen or don't happen.  It'll be like you're right here with me in my bed.  This will capture my emotions, thoughts, anticipation, disappointment, hunger, intoxication.  And so to begin it is 11:37.  I am on my laptop.  I am thinking of a title for this post.    I'll settle for Christmas Day.

Game time is at 1:20.  The question is how will I pass this time.  Probably by being loud, turning my amp up to 11.

12:08 pm


The Cubs get to face Stephen Strasburg today.  He's been known to hit triple digits on the radar gun.  I have a hunch, though, that even though the cool, sunny day by the lake will be conducive for a pitching duel, Strasburg might have a problem loosening up.  He's had issues warming up in the past, and he only had twelve starts last year.  This, really, is what we call optimism because SS is supposed to be the most dominant pitcher in baseball (when healthy).

Opposing the man with the biggest sandwich in DC, Ryan Dempster, if he has his command, should thrive in weather like this, his sinker jamming right-hand batters, splinters flying, lazy millionaires jogging to first.

Prediction:  perpetual 0-0 score, game called at 2am after 13 hours of play and 38 innings.  Bud Selig retires.  Americans start watching cricket.

1:19 pm

Bill Murray just ran around the bases and took longer than anyone I've ever seen throwing out the first pitch. The Cubs' season would be much more entertaining if they just let Murray play every position every game.

1:41 pm

0-0 after the first.  My prediction so far is dead on.  Dempster put the first two batters on but wriggled out of the jam thanks to the cold, cold wind blowing in.  In the bottom of the inning, the Cubs looked like they have the last five years and saw a total of seven pitches.  One of those pitches was popped up by Castro to the mound and fell in for a hit.  Only 199 more for him to get to 200 hits in 2012.

2:31 pm

1-0 Cubs.  My prediction was wrong.  Oh, well, there is always next year.

In between innings I've been watching coverage of the Masters, and this combined with a belly full of pistachios and being awake since 10:30 pm last night makes for one sleepy blogger.  I hope I make it through this game and then maybe get a nap in before the Hawks play tonight.  I'd make more coffee but I've already had two pots and any more and I'd fear for my bowels.

Also, idea for new Cubs campaign slogan:  swing early, swing often!

4:03 pm

If I were a sports journalist, I'd say that there is no hope, the season is over, prepare for football in the spring.  I was really hoping the Cubs would win this game so that I could sports-journalistically claim that they will be the first team to go 162-0 and win their first World Series since the Teddy Roosevelt administration.  I wanted to suggest the Dale Sveum be knighted, and Theo elected the next Rahm Emanuel of Chicago.  Either way I suppose satire is satire.

Dempster did his best 2011 Matt Garza impersonation, pitching a gem only to see all your hard work go for naught when the Bullpen is called upon.  In my opinion it's not too early to call for the heads of Dale Sveum, Jed Hoyer, and Theo Epstein.  It's time for change and obviously these three have not done nearly enough to change the baseball culture on the North Side.  The honeymoon is over, start the divorce proceedings, start going to singles bars and be on the prowl for something better.